Parceled Out Like Oxygen

Hello 2012

2012-01-03T22:12:00.002-05:00

So here it is. A new post. It has been months. I took the blog down for a bit since I accidentally sent a link in my signature to my PROFESSOR and thought that a shot of my ginormous boobs feeding two babies was NOT what he needed to see. Hell, who really does *need* to see such things? Anyhow, my class is over and if he ever did have the urge to click on that link (before I removed it from my siggy) I doubt he would ever go there again. Cause hell, who would?

So. Lola is a big girl. She weaned on 10/21/11, I tandem nursed for exactly 10 months. And trust me, that was plenty. We threw her a little party. Next week that same child turns three. My gosh.

Dare I call this progress?

2011-07-26T21:36:00.004-04:00

This past week has been filled with schedule upsets, travel and just a lot of running around. Lola went to Bessie Nana's for a night. Then came home. Then went back to Bessie Nana's for a wedding. Then came home. She was sans Mom-Mom at times. She was hot. She was tired. She was up till 10pm many nights.

And you know what?

She did wonderfully.

Sure, a few of those nights I nursed her to bed. Either Andrew wasn't there (he was home for some of it) or we just realized that 1. It was late. 2. It was the easy way out.

There were a couple of tantrums. Only one was really due to MommyTime (and could have been avoided if her parents weren't occasionally lame).

Sure, she is still nursing. She can nurse when she asks once in the morning and then again at naptime.On the couch or in her big girl bed. No exceptions. As long as our nursing relationship remains respectful, I'm game. (For a bit anyhow...)

Well.

2011-07-18T15:51:00.002-04:00

Not sure what has changed. Maybe it was my public-ish venting on here. Maybe she logged into my computer and sat down for a read. Maybe she suddenly matured. Maybe it was all of the strategic coversations I had with other adults within her earshot. Maybe it was all of the conversations I had with her directly. Maybe....

I don't care. She hasn't tantrummed for breastmilk in days. Since that blog post. Not. Once.
(Well, there was that one bedtime tantrum that would have been solved with breastmilk, but I am not sure what that was about, she was overtired, it was late.)

She asked 49580984098 times over the weekend and only breastfed twice.

This, I could get used to.

Movin' Out.

2011-07-17T11:51:00.002-04:00

We've made the move. Zach is now in his crib in Andrew's office. I've been trying to convince Andrew that we had to take the plunge, I needed more sleep and well, he finally agreed to give up some of his man space and share it with the wee one.

AND ZACH SLEPT SEVEN HOURS STRAIGHT.

Yes, seven. 9pm-4am

Of course I was up till midnight, but the four hours I did get, uninterrupted were without a baby in my bed. They were restful and wonderful.

(Please don't be a fluke.)

Tapped Out.

2011-07-15T21:18:00.005-04:00

Lately we've been talking with Lola about the possibility of weaning. She is 2.5 now and it had been my hope to have her off the boob by 7/11/11. Well that day came and went and here we are... still breastfeeding. She had been nursing about twice a day for a few months now but over the last week or two she's kicked it up a notch.

If there is a lull in conversation she might whisper "mommy time".
If she sees her brother nursing, she might come over and try to latch on with him (oftentimes on the same boob).
Other times she will just screech and yell at me until I "Give in"
This morning she saw Zach nursing and starting crying because "That's my side mommy!!!" (I never noticed she had a "side")

The last few days it has gotten to the point where dh and I are at a total loss. She tantrums constantly to nurse. I try and spend time with her doing other things (when ds is sleeping or otherwise occupies) but she just wants "mommy time".

Today I found myself shut in the bathroom so I could nurse my 7 mo old, with her tantrumming outside the door. I know that I could be nursing them simultaneously, I did for the first 4-5 months, but now I just am so tired and they are both so squirmy that I don't enjoy it. PLUS it got to the point that whenever I nursed Zach, Lola wanted some too. I feel as though I am starting to resent Lola's nursing and that is the last thing I want.

My daughter screaming outside the bathroom door while I attempt to feed her brother is NOT how I pictured parenting. I cry because I feel like a failure. I think I should wean them both and not give Zach the benefits afforded to Lola because I don't know what else to do. (This has been suggested by a few people close to me, while it isn't something I'm going to do- the thought has crossed my mind.)

Sometimes I yell. "FINE! JUST NURSE!" or something equally as heartwarming and lovely. And she does, happily. All the while I feel horrified at the idea that I just yelled at my two. year. old. because she wanted some of mommy's milk.

I've tried snacks/juice/milk. "Special" activities only for when ds is nursing. We have established "boundaries" about when/where to nurse. (In the morning and at naptime - on our couch and in her big girl bed) - I just don't know what else to do.

Sometimes she will tell me, out of the blue "Mommy, I too big for mommy time. I all done now." I even have it on video. I've replayed it for her and she watches and then resumes asking for mommy time.

Sigh.

On average,

2011-03-28T07:52:00.002-04:00

I spend over 3 hours a day nursing.
Yes, it is mainly Zach, Lola generally only spends about 35 minutes/day plus the time it takes to get her asleep for bed.

Wow, a whole month!!

2011-03-03T10:36:00.002-05:00

I guess February was busy. Maybe we've hit a stride. Yes, changing my attitude toward her nursing really helped. Saying yes has helped. Does she nurse a lot? YES. Does Zach? YES. Are there days that I feel like screaming if another person touches me, even for a moment? YES. But...

Does breastfeeding give me a chance to rest? YES Am I offering my kiddos the best nutrition there is? YES Do we have some rules around breastfeeding? YES YES YES.

Lola's 2 yo molars are coming through, so NO TEETH is a big one. She likes to bite down (gently) and then show me "teeth marks".. Um, not cool.
Mommy time after breaktfast.
Zach, Lola Mommy time is in the chair.

We're good.

Now I just need to figure out how to PARENT two kids during the day.. This is the real challenge.

Just say yes.

2011-01-30T11:54:00.003-05:00

Well, I haven't started limiting the where and the when of Lola's breastfeeding, I'm all talk. BUT I'm managed to just say YES!! Somehow this seems like growth...

Seriously, it is. My attitude toward her nursing has totally changed. I don't seem to mind it as much. She's more likely to *forget* that she's asked if I tell her yes and then distract her with other things - a snack. Sippy cup. Puzzle time. A book.

Today I set up her "big girl bed". We got new sheets and a comforter for her. She was uber excited to try it out. But... She's not quite ready. Moments after leaving her room she was at the door, stomping screaming for more Mommy's Milk. So.. I returned to her room, she had a wee bit more milk and then we cribbed it. She's asleep.

Maybe we'll try again for her afternoon nap.. maybe.

Decisions, decisions..

2011-01-23T13:03:00.003-05:00

Well, I think I've decided to let Lola nurse as she sees fit. Already things seem to be going better. Instead of saying "No" I may try the power of distraction, offer her snacks and a drink, or try and engage her in an activity before she actually latches on. She has only been nursing at naptimes/bedtimes for the last 2 days. This is a huge improvement! If things keep going this well, I am hoping to start setting limits with her verbally.

She can only nurse at naptimes/bedtimes.
We have to be in her room.

Hopefully these boundaries will allow us to continue tandem nurse until she is ready to wean.

One Month Milestone.

2011-01-21T14:31:00.001-05:00

Zach is one month old. So I've been eating, sleeping and nonstop breast feeding for a month now. I think that I can do another.

Check Up!

2011-01-21T14:10:00.002-05:00

Yesterday we were off to the pediatrician for Lola's 2 year check up and Zach's 1 month. The pedi office is comprised of one doctor, a PA and a nurse... plus an administrative assistant. It's funny, I know tons of people who go to this pedi office, yet there is rarely anyone else in the waiting room when we go!!

We saw the PA, which was totally fine with me. She has 3 or 4 kids herself and is really easy to talk to. The nurse wasn't there- she's more "traditional" in her parenting and advice, so we don't always see eye to eye.

The kids are both doing well. Lola's finally out of the 3rd - 5th %ile in weight, she's managed to gain a bit and is now in the 10th. Not that it means much, but when she was 4 months and barely 10 pounds, I used to freak out.

Zach, on the other hand, has already gained 2 pounds since discharge and is weighing in at almost 9.5 pounds. Another week and he'll likely hit the 10 pound mark. AND HE'S GROWN TWO INCHES!!! He's like, tall. It is nice to have a baby who is gaining like a baby should. I know that Lola's partly responsible for this, as her nursing has upped my supply to where it is right now. Yet another reason to continue nursing them both.

What I'm still trying to determine is how to set boundaries (and stick to them) when it come to Lola's nursing. Whether she nurses or not is currently based on my mood, how she asks, and if I say no, how big her tears are until I give in. This isn't the way to raise a 2 year old. I know I need to set limits and stick to them, no questions asked. I think it will make for a tough couple of days, but that should be it, right?

Gee.

2011-01-19T11:12:00.002-05:00

Today is already so reminiscent of Monday, I can't believe it. I guess I need to make an effort to LEAVE THE HOUSE every morning. I know that getting on some type of schedule will help things. I felt like we'd been approaching one but then the weekend happened and it all got shot out the window!!!

Tomorrow I will hopefully get Z settled and then be able to chill with Lola in her playroom and stuff for a bit. The 1:1 time with her definitely impacts how she responds to seeing Z nurse later on. This morning she was pretty insistent so I let her nurse but then she saw Z nursing a little while later and I found myself going tandem. Not that I mind that but I'm realizing that I can't let her nurse every time she asks. I need to decide on my limits and set them. And then I need to stick to them.

It is difficult to tell your child no, isn't it? Though I know that teaching her about boundaries now will help her in her future. Especially in my family, where boundaries haven't always been... well, drawn, let alone respected!!

What a difference sleep makes!!

2011-01-18T13:24:00.002-05:00

Yesterday wasn't the best of days to restart blogging. Wow, there was a kiddo on my boobs at all times (more or less)- talk about rough.

Last night, Z slept for a 5(ish) hour stretch. So this morning I actually had the energy to keep Lola distracted enough to not insist on breastfeeding and get the kids out of the house by 9 am. This is the first time I've taken on the task of taking both kids out. Honestly, it has been Lola that I've been worried about. She's at that age where a tantrum could strike at any moment...

But this morning was a dream. Everything went off without a hitch. We survived playgroup and she was more than happy to eat lunch THEN go upstairs with me for "mommy milk" and her nap. She didn't even mind Zach joining us for a bit.

Suddenly having two kids doesn't seem that daunting.

Sigh.

2011-01-17T16:32:00.001-05:00

My skin is crawling. I swear I have spent more time with a kiddo attached than not.
That's all.

Almost a month into the life of a tandem mommy.

2011-01-17T12:00:00.004-05:00

Neither my husband or I thought that the transition from one child to two was going to be so incredible consuming. Little did we realize that all that autonomy we'd recently regained since Lola became a bit more independent was going to be tossed out the window! There is always a child on me. At all times. (Unless I'm in the shower. Then it is likely there is one trying to get my attention.)

On weekends, hubs used to be able to enjoy a few uninterrupted hours of "screw off time" which he deserves. He's at work all week and rarely gets a moment to himself from the time he gets home until I go to bed. But now on weekends he's wrangling the child that I'm not. It's a welcome break for me, yet I think he looks forward to Monday mornings more than ever now!!!

Don't read this the wrong way. I am not complaining nor would I change my life for anything. I'm just surprised at how little opportunity I've had to come up for air!! It's insane.

To top it off, I'm still breastfeeding Lola, who turned 2 last week. Not that I expect any special rewards or looks of disgust (the latter seems more likely in our society) but again, I'm surprised at how consuming it is.

My decision to breastfeed both kiddos was much less of a decision than it was a result of a lack of motivation to wean on my part. Lola was content sucking away even when my milk was all gone. She was excited when the colostrum started flowing and over the moon when my milk came in a few days after Zach was born! How could I tell her no? The health benefits are huge and it is a great parenting tool. But boy, is it tiring! I didn't ever think that breastfeeding would become such a central part of who I am and what I do... but here I am - it's all I think about - it's my main activity!! If I'm not breastfeeding (or changing a diaper or doing laundry) I'm thinking about it, I'm trying to bargain with Lola to NOT breastfeed for a few minutes or I'm reading about how to navigate this new life of mine as a tandem mommy.

Lola has a new obsession with breastfeeding. She wants it all the time. I keep reading that it is typical for a toddler to increase the number of times s/he breastfeeds when a new baby is in the picture - but it's the first thing she asks for when she sees me in the morning, when I get her up from her nap or any time she sees me holding Zachary!! (He's almost a month old, so he spends 90% of his time sleeping or eating and in my arms) Wow.. I'm waiting for the day that she returns to breastfeeding 2x/day.

If I knew months ago what I know now, would I have weaned Lola? Probably not.

Hi.

2010-05-02T16:10:00.004-04:00

I haven't blogged in well, um. 7 months- maybe 8?
I could have almost had a baby in that time. But I didn't.
Maybe I'll get better about blogging now that spring is here and I have a lot of things to get done outside...
Some Lola Candy:

Here she is swinging in the kitchen. We still haven't brought the darn thing outside, she likes it though!! (Good thing, considering the snow we had last week)

Speaking of snow... Here she is pouncing in puddles during our (hopefully) last snow fall of the 90-10 "winter" on 4/27. Sheesh.

Eights Months?!?! Seriously?

2009-09-11T16:15:00.002-04:00

Well here it is, her 8 month "birthday". Wow. She didn't sleep all night and a second tooth broke through this a.m. - where has my little houseplant gone? She moves, she feeds herself, she lets me know when she wants more food. She can find my boob and latch on with little interference on my part. Wow.

She has even seen more live music than most kids TWICE her age.
moe. Cake. Ani D'. Lynch. more moe. and then some more moe. Method Man and Redman. Sam Bush. Ominous Seapods. Nate Wilson. Matthew Sweet.

Good Times.

Here's a photo recap of Lola at moe.down X

Blending in with the hippies:

A girl and her dad:

and her mommy too!!

Some of the only tears we saw all weekend:

(Apparently the teething biscuit was rather upsetting..)

And she sleeps.

Yesterday we visited Shelburne Farms with CT and Conner and Jenny, Carleigh and Miles. Lola and the kids had fun playing dress-up (the hat in front in the first picture IS Lola - Carleigh thought she needed to wear it).

Seven Months?

2009-08-11T13:12:00.003-04:00

Wow. Lola's 7 months today!!

It seems like she's gained a ton of new skills just this past week, it's amazing how quickly she changes!!! Last weekend we went to Twin Mountain to celebrate Cindy and Cheria's birthdays. (Friday and Sunday, respectively) On Saturday we went to Story Land and Lola rode the MerryGo'Round and went on a "Safari" tour, during which she stood and held on to the back of the seat the entire time!! When did she learn to do that? She's talking up a storm, learning new sounds every day! We're expecting her to start crawling at any minute-- so not ready for that one!

On the "Safari"

Trying out the potty

Just being cute

Well Summer finally showed up!

2009-08-06T20:02:00.005-04:00

Thank goodness, I don't think I was going to be able to stand another week of rain!! It's been great soaking up all the sun. Last week we went to mom's and met up with Lee and Sam for a day on the water. I think we all had a nice time and the weather was perfect!! I cannot remember the last time I laughed as hard as when mom and I were tubing!! It was great.

Yesterday Lola and I first went up Mount Philo with Ali and Betsy. The weather didn't look all that promising when I first woke up but I was pleasantly surprised to see it clearing as we neared the top!

After Philo I met Jen at the Addison Fair and Field Days. Lola, Carleigh, mile, Jenny and I trekked around the fair for the afternoon. Andrew joined us for dinner. It was great to spend the entire day outside. Ah. Summer.

The flowers are finally blooming! I didn't know if I was going to see much happen in our yard this summer!! The veggies are likely a lost cause, it doesn't even seem like my tomatoes will fruit much!! I "scored" some squash from my friend Maggie and her husband- they needed a place to plant and I've room!! SO at least we might get some veggies to share from those plants, so not all is lost!!!

So.

2009-06-24T19:33:00.005-04:00

I've apparently stopped blogging. Seems all anyone cares about any more is my kid- myself included. Suddenly all those little life experiences I used to have (and therefore blog about) stopped mattering about 5.5 months ago... For awhile I was at least keeping up with some pics, but with Facebook and Snapfish it seemed like I was already posting all the "good" pics anyhow!!

I've decided to make a concentrated effort to blog more.

Some non-Lola related stuff that's new:

Nada.

Okay, not true. One garden is up and my tomatoes, peppers and herbs aren't too happy about it! The potatoes, carrots and lettuce/spinach are doing well though!! Strawberry plants are fruiting. The flower beds are doing well. Hope to till and plant the "lower" garden next week.

Also next week, I go back to work. It's only 12 days of work-- two a week for 6 weeks- doing the summer program at EHS. Andrew will stay with Lola. I think it will be nice for both of them to have that 1:1 time.

Mom is doing well, her "stuff" is getting removed on Tuesday, she'll be on crutches for a bit, but so far the prognosis couldn't be better!! (In my non- medical, just daughter opinion)

In Lola related news:
She's still tiny, weighing in at 12 pounds at 5.5 months. She's a long and skinny baby- hitting milestones as expected. Cute as hell too... (not biased, I swear) There's been a tooth waiting to break through for about 3 weeks!! She's drooly and cranky but nothin' is popping though those gums of hers- not that I mind!

She's been eating a concoction of avocado, breastmilk and rice cereal most evenings when we have dinner. She LOVES the stuff. Maybe one day I'll get around to introducing another food.. maybe.

I think Andrew had a nice first Father's day. We visited his parents and went into Littleton with the babe and Oscar- it was a nice day.

We've been heading up Mt. Philo at least once a week for the last month or so- she seems to like it.

Here she is chilling with her friend Ali

Next weekend we celebrate the fourth at Mom's... Lola's already got her outfit picked out!

This morning...

2009-05-06T15:19:00.003-04:00

Spring is here. Yay!!
So Lola and I woke up at a leisurely 8:15 and she was cheerful and bright eyed as ever! (She's so awesome in the mornings!) We went downstairs and completed our typical morning routine.. diaper change and playmat for her while I make my oatmeal, get my coffee and brew my daily pot of tea. Then it's time to nurse her and she settles in for a loooooooong midmorning nap...
(This picture is a reenactment.....she's not sleeping!)

While Lola was napping, the mulch was delivered (YAY!)

I got to work....

I just finished the one bed today, not the most drastic improvement, but still an improvement nonetheless!

Meanwhile Oscar was busy....

BAD DOG!!

There was only one casualty to my mulching endeavor.

So I thought I'd add it to the flowers on my table--

didn't work.

So it found a home here.

Now Lola's gearing up for nap #2... Think I might transplant a few houseplants!
Stay tuned... (Riveting stuff, eh?)

2009-04-08T20:43:00.000-04:00

It's been awhile...

2009-03-27T12:20:00.002-04:00

Mud season is upon us, but the days are getting longer, Lola is getting bigger and my nights- well, they aren't getting any sleepier!

She's smiling like mad!!

Lola had some thrush earlier this month, it didn't seem to bother her in the least and I wasn't at all affected, but we did the treatment anyhow. We started with the dr prescribed Nystatin, which wasn't improving things after a week so I started her on the Genetian Violet treatment... that finally kicked it!

We've had a pretty good month, Lola's been out, meeting people, being all cute and stuff. Here she is at OuterSpace:

And just a few more pics from this past month..

And my favorite:

2009-03-06T19:07:00.003-05:00

Another wild weekend.

2009-02-23T12:42:00.004-05:00

This past weekend we were blessed to have Bethany, Britten, Chris and Liliana come to meet Lola Jayne!
Miss Britten with the babe:

Saturday morning coffee...

On Saturday, we went to Shelburne beach to soak up the sun!!

Liliana helped feed Lola Jayne:

Sunday morning, after a breakfast of pancakes and waffles, they hit the road~ in a snow storm of course. It seems the girls CANNOT trek east on I89 in November ~ March without some sort of snowy weather!!

Everyone made it home safe and sound. Yay.

Tummy Time.

2009-02-22T19:19:00.001-05:00

She seemed to enjoy her new play mat.

I'm Glad

2009-02-20T19:12:00.002-05:00

That at least my friend Shel bothers to read my blog.
Thanks Shel!

Here's yet another picture of some baby toes.

Weekend at Bessie Nana's

2009-02-17T11:36:00.001-05:00

So we spent our first weekend away from home with Lola. It was insane packing the car with all her stuff, our stuff AND the dog. We already need a minivan and there's just one kid! (We didn't even bring her pack n play - regret- or Oscar's kennel!)

On Saturday Rachel, Caleb, Becca and Eli came up for the night! He's so HUGE compared to Lola... she's a peanut weighing 8 lbs. and he's a hefty 13!! (Granted, he's 4 weeks older and 3 inches longer...)

Here's some pics:

Bessie Nana and Lola Jayne

Caleb and Lola

The babies

Shel and Becca

Somebody's Crying!!

A girl and her dad

I'm afraid she might have my baby cheeks

Busy Weekend!

2009-02-15T22:16:00.005-05:00

So last weekend Michele came for a visit. It was great getting the chance to have her all to ourselves and for her to meet Lola Jayne too!!

Here's the Little Miss in an outfit from Shel:

She took us to Lola's first dinner out- at the Frog, of course. It was awesome. Thanks Shel!
Lola did very well, not getting fussy till the coffee came out. Whoo Hoo!

Then Shel left on Sunday and Grandma and Grandpa Rollins came over. We went out to dinner again.. and the Little Miss did wonderfully. Then on Monday she went on her first trip to Costco!

It was great getting to spend good, quality time with everyone. Thanks for visiting!!

Avery's parents are almost as awesome as he is.

2009-02-03T12:32:00.003-05:00

So about a week ago we received a package from Avery's parents.. Andrew and I have always been quite partial to Avery, he's a good matured little man with the best hair in the universe!! Very often throughout my pregnancy, Andrew would remark.. "maybe we'll have a kid as easy going as Avery" Granted, we see him in limited doses (a few times a year) and like all kids, he has his moments, I'm sure. (But we've never seen them!)

Anyhow, this package was from his parents (they are pretty cool too, as is his sister) and we were dumbfounded by their thoughtful generosity!

First off, there was a sheepskin...

And then not one, but TWO carriers...

I must say that I love them both! I remember Anne using the wrap last spring and we shocked to see that she loaned it to us to use with our little one!! It's awesome and perfect for getting things done while Lola sleeps!! I think it's her favorite napping spot.

And even books!!

Thanks guys. You seriously rock.
And we're seriously spoiled.

A few pics...

2009-01-28T13:09:00.002-05:00

I've been meaning to update here a bit more often but I guess I've been a bit ~distracted~... Wonder with what?

Anyhow, here's a few shots that we took over the last day or so.. enjoy!

Thanks for the rattle Bessie Nana:

Little Feet:

Due Date!!

2009-01-17T15:46:00.004-05:00

Well today was our due date! I can't believe how much has changed in this past week!!
Here's a quick recap:

Friday was my last day of work. As I sat down in my car to leave, my water broke. Talk about good timing!! I met Andrew at work and we took his car to L&D so I could get "checked out". We had the option of immediately starting Pitocin (I guess this is the "recommended" procedure when a woman's water breaks naturally... WTH?) or going home until I went into labor.Since we were hoping for a non-medicated birth, we chose the latter. Once home, we got our things in order, had some dinner... watched ER. I tried to sleep, but my contractions were frequent enough that I got little rest.

Saturday morning I called the midwife. I still hadn't started laboring, the contractions were actually a bit further apart than they'd been during the night. (I'd been hoping that once I got up and started moving about, they'd increase-- no such luck.) We got back to the hospital around 11:30. She wanted to assess my contractions and discuss our options with us. We were set up in a room with a beautiful view of Burlington and the lake, it was a crisp clear day.

Gorgeous!

The midwife kinda talked us in to starting Pit. I was rather reluctant, but she assured me that a "pitocin labor is EXACTLY like a natural labor..." for some reason, I felt like believing her. Being on Pit. also meant that I'd be strapped to the monitors throughout. But they were "wireless" and I was assured that I could move freely. I was still able to labor in the tub, but the prospect of a water birth was gone. (Because of the pit.) There was an increased risk for infection the longer we waited... I was quickly resigning myself to whatever the good nurses said.

Whoa Mama!

So the pit was started around 1:30. The nurse had blown out a vein in my hand and we had to wait for another nurse to come in. Our nurse and I never really "clicked" in hindsight, I've realized I should have asked for someone else. Anyway. They got me going on the pit and hooked me up to the monitors... BUT WAIT! The darn things kept slipping off my tummy and whenever I moved (ie, walked around even, went to the bathroom, or tried to (gasp) MOVE through a contraction) the nurse would come running in the room to readjust the straps and talk about her dogs.

So anyway, things continued on like that for a few hours. I think I really started laboring hard around 5:30 or so. (I'm not too sure) My contractions were lasting about 1.5 minutes and coming every 45 seconds or something. So I would have one,the straps would slip, the nurse would move back in to readjust and I'd start having another. good times. PLUS, everyone was staring at the monitors, waiting for a contraction, then stare at me while I had one. (One of the things I wanted to avoid most was the monitors.. oh well)

Anyone who know me knows that I HATE BEING WATCHED. If I'm cooking, putting on make-up, blow drying my hair.. ANYTHING.. DON'T WATCH ME! So.. that was loads of fun. Luckily I was together enough to not let it completely overwhelm me. As this labor process was not going how I'd envisioned, I knew that I had to stay positive so it wouldn't be a horrific experience.

By 7:30 I was asking for an epi. The midwife told me I was 3 cm and fully effaced and that it could take another SEVEN HOURS before I would start pushing... So I took the plunge. Out goes the prospect of even laboring in the water...

Throughout this whole time Andrew was awesome. I couldn't be touched when I was having a contraction. He was great about it. He's massage me or whatever between the contractions, but stop the minute one started. What a gem.

They start prepping me and by 8:30 I was numb from the waist down. I was hooked to new monitors, the shifts changed and we got a new nurse (LOVED HER) and they left Andrew and I in peace. It was quite a relief to no longer have the midwife and the nurse staring at me and the monitors. Since we did the pit, I am very happy I had the epi. I don't know how I would have made it through transition without it. (Well, I would have honestly been so horrible to everyone present....)

By 10:00 (yes, 1.5 hours later, NOT SEVEN!) I was 9 cm, by 10:30, I was 10. So that went quickly. I started pushing at 11:15 and Miss Lola Jayne Rollins was born at 12:28 am on Jan 11, 2009!! 7 pounds, 20 inches. It was the most amazing experience of my life. I think Andrew thought it was pretty cool too.

She came out crying, all pink and perfect! While her labor wasn't at all what I'd imagined, her healthy entrance into the world is all that mattered. So I wouldn't change a moment of it for anything.

Getting measured:

And weighed:

Mmm... placenta:

Here's some pics from our brief hospital stay. Andrew and I felt like we were there forever, but apparently we beat feet pretty fast. *Why would we want to stay?*

Since getting home we've had a pretty busy few days. Mom stayed with us until Wednesday am (thanks ma!) Then on Wednesday we had a houseful... but not what you'd expect.. We had frozen heating pipes so there were some plumbing and heating guys, a contractor to rip into the wall, Andrew's parents came for the afternoon, and we had a lactation specialist stop by.

Turns out Lola was dropping lots of weight and SHE WASN'T POOPING! So that just put me into a whirlwind of stress. My milk has since come in, she's eating (and pooping!!) like a champ and her weight has stabilized. So all is good there.

The cousins came by on Thursday with Conner, Carleigh and Miles. It was great to see everyone and have the little ones meet Lola. Thanks girls for all the treats and food!!

Friday Lola had her first pediatrician appointment. She passed with flying colors. All is well.

Today is the day we were expecting her!! Actually, we were pretty darn sure that she was going to be at least a week late... I think we'd planned on going to the Bearded Frog for dinner if we hadn't had her yet... guess lasagna from the freezer will have to do!!

Wow, I can't believe it has only been one week! (Well 5 hours short of a week).

She's awesome.

Who's so pregnant?

2009-01-02T12:28:00.002-05:00

OMG, I'm a house. And to think, this was Christmas Eve... I've gained a pound since!! EEK. How will I ever waddle around work these next two weeks?

20 days....

2008-12-28T19:24:00.000-05:00

...left till the due date.
Wow.

Babies, babies, everywhere....

2008-12-10T09:44:00.005-05:00

So, my last post stated that both Rachel and Amelia were on the brink of motherhood (again). Well, both of their boys arrived on Monday, 12/08/08!!

Rachel's little boy arrived around 3:45 pm- Eli Gideon was 8 lbs 8 oz (I think...)
Pics below:

Caleb and his baby brother:

Amelia's boy couldn't wait another week!! Rollin Arthur, (named after her dad and grandfather) arrived a little before 10pm Monday. He was 8+ pounds and doing well. Pics to follow when I get up to see him.

Belly Up. 34 weeks.

2008-12-07T19:26:00.002-05:00

40 days left for me.
Rach is gonna burst any moment.
Amelia's scheduled for next week.
Wow.
Babies.

My feet- they are so long gone.

You think I could have brushed my hair, huh?

And Oscar- cause right now, he's still our baby.

One pregnant woman's insanity... and her husband's patience.

2008-11-30T20:50:00.004-05:00

I had high hopes for this past week. I was off from work, all the baby stuff was here, it would be the perfect time to get little Miss Mae Bea Oprah's room all set up-- her clothes washed, pictures hung... but there was one problem: half our house is under construction and the other half is storing the furniture and boxes of stuff that belongs in the living room and lofts (incl. her room)!!!
So, after a nice week of relaxation and construction-- had a visit with Mom on Monday, lunch with Maggie on Wednesday, a dr. appt, did a little Christmas shopping (and I mean a LITTLE) and then a yummy Thanksgiving dinner at Andrew's parent's house-- it was suddenly Sunday and vacation was almost OVER!!

With some attempt at rationalization and no nagging required, my dear husband not only helped me EMPTY the junk out of her room and put together the crib, but even took the time to hang curtains, help me rearrange furniture and then put all the junk BACK in Mae Bea Oprah's room!!! He of course, thought it all pointless, whereas I felt it all to be incredibly necessary.

Here he is, working hard:

He even "let" me help a bit (Check out that tummy!!! It's huge.):

Here's the crib, all together-- I think we might want to purchase a mattress, huh?

Somebody's tired:

Here's an oh-so flattering shot of both of us:

And this is what Little Miss Mae Bea Oprah's room looks like now:

So was it worth it? Yes.
Does Andrew think it was worth it? I dunno, but he has to live with me!!!

What a week.

2008-11-24T13:02:00.004-05:00

Wow. What a week it's been. First off, my good friend Shel came over on Saturday and we went to the Frog. Where I ate cake. (That really was the highlight of the day... my cake!! kidding.) Then Sunday was the most awesomest amazing wonderful really cool wikkid baby shower. I wish I had pics, but the few that are on our camera are eh... But really, the whole thing was great. It was at my dads. He, Jill, Michele and my mom got together and took care of business!! The food was great, the decoration mucho fun. There wad even a pink baby tree!! And tulle lit around the room. Super cute stuff.

And there were presents!!! Lots and lots of stuff for this little girl. Andrew and I are still floored by people's generosity. Seriously. We're like... what the?!?! Thanks!

After the shower, we headed home with bags of goodies, Andrew's parents and my mom in tow. Once there, Andrew and his parents rigged up a pulley system and hoisted the gigantic armoire box to the second floor. It was insane. I wanted to take pictures, but I was scared to, I didn't want there to be a record of it in case things went bad.... NOT that I was lacking confidence in my husband and his dad or anything.. it really was just simply scary to watch!!!

On Monday I had the glory of taking Kitten One to the vet to examine her systematic hair loss. The verdict? You guessed it, FlEaS!!! Yup. Bugs. Our cat had animal the equivalent to headlice. Yay. So after paying about 125 bucks for the visit and fleas meds and shots and whatever else they could think of, I went home and we had to begin the extermination process.

Wow. That was fun. The cat didn't seem to have and "active" fleas on her. Kitten Two and puppy both seemed "clean". The vet said that we most likely weren't "infested" (ah.. warm fuzzies) but that we had to respond as though we were. So began the washing, vacuuming and the spraying...

Tuesday was supposed to be childbirth class. We are are the cool parents who drop such responsibilities at the slightest indication of stress. We didn't go. Instead we spent the evening clearing out the living room for the contractor. He started work on Tuesday and we needed to have the space clear for him to really get started... (We're actually still waiting for THAT to happen!! That's not entirely true.. stay tuned for the construction blog..)

So on Wednesday and Thursday it was pretty much just trying to figure out how to live in half the house, with FLEAS and an increasingly neurotic dog. Plus I was exhausted. There were meetings after work, groceries to buy etc...

On Saturday I was finally able to take the time to look at and "ahhhh" over all of the amazing baby stuff we got for our shower!! I literally spent HOURS pouring over the stuff!! Can't wait till she's here! Andrew got the furniture in the room too. Too bad we can't set it up yet...

Yesterday we were able to meet up with Linz and Shalom for some yummy brunch. They seem to be doing well, all married and stuff!! Hopefully Vermont will be getting them back in the next couple of years!! (That would seriously rock.)

Last night was book group and they even had a little party for baby!! It was the sweetest thing. THERE WAS EVEN CAKE. (My biggest weakness as of late!!) You girls rock. Thank you.

Now I am in Lake George visiting with mom for the night. Yay. I really just wanted to get away from the construction for a night!!

Baby's Room.

2008-11-08T13:45:00.002-05:00

It's painted! Yay.
We used the paint I'd originally bought for the downstairs bathroom, it was too warm for that horrible mosaic counter we've got going in there.
We used the light fixture that we ordered for our bedroom and it didn't fit.
The rug is one I bought years ago and had to put away when we got the cats, they liked pulling at it--- bad kittens.

So it feels rather serendipitous, but I think it looks great. The pics so don't do it justice... but really, it's just an empty room with new paint right now... SOON it will be full of baby furniture (thanks mom) and then BABY!!! Yay.

Ignore the furniture and stuff. Only the bookshelf is staying.

This pic shows the contrast between the 2 yellows.

Now I'm heading the Lake George for the night- Rachel's shower is tomorrow!!

My feet.

2008-10-24T12:45:00.000-04:00

Has anyone seen them?

I surely haven't.

Raisinets. This post has no actual point.

2008-10-20T16:38:00.005-04:00

After work I went to Shaw's to stock up on fruits and veggies for the week. We also needed some dairy products, bread and apparently, RAISINETS. Now I am not generally an eater of Raisinets-- not that there is anything wrong with them, but they are junk food and I typically would grab a hunk of Lake Champlain Chocolate (which isn't junk food, per se, it's me supporting a local business) over a box of candy any day... but today was the exception. There was a big ol' display of movie theatre sized boxes of candy. I first went for the Reese's Pieces, but upon noticing the entire box had a fat content over 25, I quickly put it down... soon settling for the megabox of Raisinets. I think it's important to note that I wasn't looking at the fat content per serving, no, no, no... I was looking at that of the entire box. I knew full well that I wouldn't eat just some of that box... I'd eat the whole damn thing. (And I did.)

So, once I complete my weekly shopping - not without having to chat for a few minutes about my pregnancy (across the front end of the store- she was basically shouting questions at me) with the strange ex-pharmacy lady who now works the front end- I get into my car and settle into the drive home and my box of Raisinets. I pop the first chocolate coated raisin into my mouth, little Mae Bea Oprah starts fluttering around (I blame my new found sugar addiction on the fact that she kicks when I eat the stuff).... Life is good.

On the radio was Michael Pollan, who recently penned an Open Letter to the Next "Farmer In Chief" about the current state of our country's agricultural / food production practices. As the interview with Terry Gross begins, Pollen points out how much cheaper it is to eat processed, high sugar, high fat foods (RAISINETS) than "healthier" items such as fruits and veggies. This isn't news. But it got me thinking about what I just bought at the grocery store. Very little was processed, the cereal, the bread, yogurt and of course, the Raisinets!!! My grocery bill was mainly fruits and veggies, plus some kitty litter, paper towels, milk, etc... I didn't walk out of the store with a ton of food, but I did spend over 100 bucks.

Pollan continued on to state that we eat veggies (that could easily be grown in the US) that are imported from Chile, we raise chickens in the US and ship them to China to be packaged, then BACK to the US to be consumed.. WTF? The was our agricultural system is set up, it's cheaper to produce foods with high fructose corn syrup and soybean oil than it is to serve up a head of broccoli...

Those Raisinets sure were good.

(If my husband reads this, he'll just be sad I didn't save any Raisinets for him!)

Nursery Furniture

2008-10-18T18:35:00.004-04:00

YAY!! We did it. We picked out and ordered Mae Bea Oprah's furniture!!

After searching online for weeks and weeks, Mom finally decided to take the day and come to Vermont. We left Andrew at home and went searching. Finally, we found a crib that had a drop side and a storage drawer-- with a matching dresser! Once we got home we ordered an amoire.

She spoils me.

I'd love to say that some exciting things happened whilst we were about... but nope! We started off in Williston, went to Linens and Things for a going out of business sale.. it was hell. Too many people and stuff was only 10% off. We both thought it would be extra special to get some Tweezerman products, with them being on sale and all... but, the place was so darn crowded and we were making purchases we didn't really need... so we ditched out selections and beat feet out of there. Our next stop was Once Upon a Child- a second hand kids store. We thought we'd check out the selection of cribs there. Again, super crowded!! All of Williston was. It was a mad house. I felt like it was Black Friday or something. It was unbelievable.

So then we decided to bypass lunch downtown and hit South Burlington. There are a few furniture stores along Rte. 7 that I figured we'd check out. Most don't sell cribs. One had A CRIB. Seriously, just the one. (I had thought maybe she was kidding...nope, ONE CRIB) So finally we made it to Kid's Town (where I had intended to start out, but forgot-- kind of like how I forget absolutely everything these days)... and that is where we found:

This is the crib and the dresser-- we got the changer combo on the right, not the dresser on the left. We didn't get the bookshelf-- might when she gets older but didn't see the need for it now.

After Kid's Town, I took mom to lunch in Shelburne at the yummy pizza/bistro place that I can never remember the name of. It was yummy!! Then we went to the grocery and bought the essentials: I got milk and cookies and mom bought cookies, "Rex's Outrageous Road Crew Crunch" (quite yummy), some trashy magazines (because inquiring minds want to know), and a SIGG water bottle (she's trying to lay off the RockStar).

I had a slight mishap with my Sigg earlier today and I think it may have inspired mom's purchase. We were walking out of a furniture store and I felt a sloshing in my purse. Nothing was dripping, but I could definitely tell my purse was full of water. I swear and dump my purse out right in front of the store. Stuff goes flying, my wallet, cell phone, and the hundreds of vitamins I'd been saving for after lunch (okay, there were about 8, but you swallow them all, it seems like hundreds!!) along with 2 cups of water!! Turns out, I didn't properly thread the top of the water bottle and absently tossed it in my purse. No biggie. Cell phone works, didn't lose anything more than the vitamins. What I don't get is how this experience convinced my mom of the convenience of the Sigg water bottle... I mean, um.. come on. She said, "It's great, I can just toss it in my purse..."

But quite frankly, it did. And that makes me happy. Because water is good. Plastic water bottles are bad. So the more water my mom drinks, the less RockStar. PLUS less waste. Yay for that.

This is the armoire (which I love love love):

Plus, mom got Mae Bea Oprah a little outfit:

Yay. We have about 13 weeks to go. Wow. Exciting.

Shed.

2008-10-05T18:34:00.003-04:00

So we got the door of the shed on.. now it's just the front siding that's left. Okay, so very little "we" was involved... I called the neighbors and they came over to help Andrew. I cried pregnant.

So yay. We have an almost finished woodshed... maybe now we will start on the nursery.

And it is fall.. so it's pretty here in Monkton.

We started up the woodstove today. (Again, my part was just whining I was cold. Andrew built the fire... I would have though)

Mmm.. My Husband. Weekend.

2008-10-05T13:01:00.006-04:00

So, Friday he comes home with flowers....
He rarely brings home flowers.... maybe 2-3 times a year.
What a sweetie.

THEN Saturday afternoon a "surprise" comes... it's a Scooba!!!! Now our floors are nice and clean. It's fun. The darn thing washes your floors!! Granted, we will still have to do it ourselves, but since we're slobs this darn thing will come in super handy!! (Besides, I rarely actually WASH our floors....)

So far the weekend has been pretty productive. We have clean floors in the kitchen/living room (Thanks to the Roomba and our new Scooba-- we really aren't as lazy as we sound... you still need to move furniture and stuff) Lots of laundry has been done. We cleaned up our "utility/laundry room) and the rail has been hung for the barn door- today we will hopefully finish the front of the shed...

Oh, and we have no heat!! Stupid power surge from June took care of that. We didn't think to make sure that EVERY PART of our furnace was working -we had hot water and didn't think anything of it!! Some part that controls the HEATING THE HOUSE aspect of our furnace is blown. We already have settled with the electric company (kind of makes we wish we hadn't been so conservative in our claim) so we can't really do anything more that replace it. Luckily my nifty husband has found the part on-line and with the online tech support of a buddy should be able to replace it easily. (I hope!!)

AND we went to ToysRUs and beefed up our baby registry. It was fun. We found all sorts of stuff for when she's older... like a John Deere Tractor and crap. Can't wait till our yard is full of all that crap....

Baby is still kicking like mad... looking forward to going to mom's this weekend and seeing everyone.

Feet.

2008-09-30T16:22:00.001-04:00

Mine Stink.
They didn't used to.
But now, they do.
Ick.

U/S Pics.

2008-09-19T11:00:00.003-04:00

It's Friday. I'm not at work. I am a bum.
Figured I'd post some U/S pics from the 3 we've had done so far.. it's cool to see the growth!

This is our first U/S. I was about 7 weeks pregnant.

This is U/S 2 (taken the day she couldn't find a heartbeat)
I was almost 17 weeks.

These were from my 18 week U/S.

Belly This.

2008-09-14T16:49:00.008-04:00

So, I had grand plans of doing this Andy Warhol Pop Art belly thing.. but then I realized PhotoBucket did it for you...and I did it, but didn't like the color combos... so here's the pic I was photoshopping on my way to making my "Pop" Art Belly pic... maybe some other day.

So this is me, 21 weeks pregnant.
And here's a mini-pop:

Belly Pics

2008-09-02T20:05:00.001-04:00

Will be posted when I get around to it. Andrew took some today but they are crap. Really, crap. Will try again some other day. Till then, think of me but fatter and there ya go. That's me 20 weeks preggo.

Wondering

2008-08-24T17:36:00.001-04:00

Does anyone ever freakin' read this thing?

Yawn....

2008-08-24T17:33:00.003-04:00

I was gonna post something fun and witty but i'm freakin' exhausted and my brother is coming over for dinner and the dog is at the door and i need to take a shower because i really do stink and need to finish up laundry and clean the bathroom and did i mention that i'm exhausted and and and... i think i will post something another day.

Interesting Mushroom Dish

2008-08-18T08:05:00.004-04:00

I thought I'd make a creamy mushroom lasagna. Not necessarily LOW FAT, mind you, but hopefully yummy and creamy and delicious!! Cousin Jenny just had her baby so I thought I'd make one and bring it over to her as well...

The mushrooms smelled divine as they were sautéing in the pan, I stuck to a simple lasagna plan, nothing fancy. When it came time to eat, such things were overheard at our kitchen table...

"...But it smelled so good!"
"Crunch!" (As Andrew bit into an overcooked noodle.)
"..It's better than dog food, maybe"

Like, usually my food attempts come out okay. At least we eat them and there isn't a complaint. I can recognize when food tastes like shit, this tasted like shit. I overcooked it. I shouldn't have tried to use breadcrumbs (what was I thinking anyhow?!) Generally shit dinners only cross our tables once or twice a year, I hope this is it.

But I told Jenny I'd bring over an interesting mushroom dish, at least she has a garbage disposal!!

I love Craigslist.

2008-08-17T19:44:00.005-04:00

Today I went around and collected stuff to sell/give away on Craigslist. AND WE SOLD OUR WASHER/DRYER. So that's good. I love Craigslist. People will take anything. Old Makeup mirrors? Sure, why not? Ripped Hamper? Check!! Next to go is my bike rack for my CR-V. Hopefully that will go by Wednesday, according to the interested party. I wonder why nobody wants the scrap metal table frame though? I even posted pics!!

Look here: http://burlington.craigslist.org/zip/800703984.html
That could be yours, all yours.

Oh! That reminds me, I need to list my medicine cabinet. I'll just try and give it away.. hopefully somebody will need it. I was thinking I might get away with calling it "Vintage".

We went yesterday and found some barn board and a barn door to put on our shed. (Talk about Vintage!) So we're gonna have the coolest woodshed this side of the beaver pond, let me tell you. Andrew painted the downstairs bathroom today too. Lucky me. But now I have to put everything back in once it dries...

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

2008-08-12T20:14:00.004-04:00

Ever have one of those days where you just can't get out of your own way? It wasn't actually a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day but it wasn't a good day either. It began with rain, as most days do lately and I refused to get out of bed until about 9:30 when the sun started peeking out. This gave me some hope for a great day.

I had a lot of errands to run, considering the fact I spent yesterday avoiding everything but the couch and tons of stuff to do at home. I figured I'd get my ass in gear and start working on a brochure I'm doing for my neighbor and finish up photoshopping Amelia's wedding photos...First, I decided to fix my sound issues on my computer and in the process pulled my tower out and messed up the video card. SO I LOST USE OF MY MONITOR FOR THE DAY! There goes THAT plan.

That was the beginning of my Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day. I was grumpy at this point, not knowing what I did, but realizing that my poor husband would have to spent his time after work fixing my mistake and it might mean a new monitor or video card or something. Gr.

I decide I'm going to go run errands. There were a few definite items I needed to pick up and groceries. Well, I have a soda in my car which I promptly knock into my center console. That is 12 ounces of pure sugary goodness leaking through my car. Yay. *It was an Izze soda, so really the sugar content wasn't super high, and it's 70% juice, so don't yell at me for indulging in soda whilst knocked up. Besides, I didn't even get the chance to!! This perpetuated my grumpiness..

I bought a huge, gigantic chocolate bar at the store, figuring it would last me at least a day or so... It melted. Again, adding to my grumpy mood.

I had to pee at every establishment I entered... at the first, the bathroom reeked of FRIED FOOD. How? Why? I don't know. But it was disgusting. The other 4 restrooms I entered stunk of um.... poo. Yes, poo. Like someone had just um.. finished their business moments before I entered.. Now I realize that it is a bathroom. BUT EVERY SINGLE ONE I ENTERED? It was too much. I thought I was gonna lose it.

I had a headache. I couldn't remember what I needed at the grocery store. I thought I was going to lose my freakin' mind. Seriously, lose it. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. Grumpy.

And then I stole an avocado.

At least I got to meet up with a friend of mine for some yummy tea (thanks Maggie) so that helped. Andrew fixed my computer cause he's a whiz. AND THEN, he connected the new washer and dryer so I can do a REAL BIG load of laundry. I felt like a kid in a candy store putting that first load in... I was able to put at least TWICE the amount of clothes in the washer than I could in my last, and there was room to spare.

So really. It wasn't a bad day, I just spent it in a bad mood.

It's a..................

2008-08-09T10:43:00.004-04:00

Well, yesterday I went in for my monthly check-up. The midwife was having trouble finding the heartbeat.. I was pretty chill about it, we'd heard it when she first put the doppler on my tummy, so I thought, "No Biggie"... The she starts saying stuff like, "We should see if they can squeeze you in for a U/S" and "See if your husband can get here".... I asked her if we had just heard it for a second... she responded with "Mmm... Hmm.." WHAT? What does MmmHmmm mean? Why do I need an ultrasound if we just heard the heartbeat? (It was literally about 2 beats, but def. not my heartbeat) Why does my husband need to come? What is going on?!?! Of course I don't actually ask these questions, we continue on with the appt. She tells me they can schedule me for 11:30 (It is 10:00) and rushes out the door.

I don't want to give the wrong impression of this midwife. I heart her. Seriously, she is relatively down to earth, upfront (with the exception of the whole heartbeat thing? WTH?) and all that. It's the second time I've seen her and would be entirely happy with her being present at the birth... I think. I think that she didn't explain more about her desire for the U/S because I didn't seem freaked out. I did say, "Well, we heard it, and I haven't had cramping or bleeding, so everything is fine, right?" (she didn't respond) but I was pretty calm. I STILL don't know why she insisted on the U/S... but she did.

So.. I get my bloodwork done (routine stuff) and head back to the waiting room and Andrew arrives. He's freaked out. I'm freaked out.. The receptionist sort of trailed off when I check back in.. "Oh this is for... right, just have a seat." (WHAT?)

So.. we get to the U/S room, dude thinks he's just looking for a heartbeat. I tell him that since we're here (and I was under the impression from my midwife) that we should do all those fetal measurements so I don't have to come back in in 2 weeks. He was all for it. So everything looks good. All the fingers and toes seem to be in place, the heart, the kidneys, the tummy, measurements are all good. Oh, and there was a heartbeat. 152 bpm. Nice and fast. Baby is measuring 16weeks5days and I'm 16w6days (well, was yesterday) so that is spot on.

The doc comes in, he's more reluctant to tell us gender (the tech did, but I wanted doc to tell us too-- to make sure they were the same!!) saying that in 2 weeks he would be able to tell us 100% but if someone had a gun to his head, he could make the prediction with a relative accuracy.... doc also wanted to check the rest of baby's heart (tech only got good shots of one side) but baby wasn't cooperative. The upper lip looks good, meaning no cleft. It's amazing what they can see these days!! Simply amazing. All in all, it looks like a "normal" pregnancy. Lets just hope it stays that way!!

Where oh where have my ankles gone?

2008-08-04T14:26:00.003-04:00

So I was in the shower, shaving my legs...
and stumbled across a disturbing discovery- MY ANKLES ARE SWOLLEN!

How can this be? I'm only 16 weeks.
They haven't looked this bad since one of them was sprained! My goodness. Is this what I have to look forward to?

Does this mean I am destined to finish off this pregnancy wearing socks? Long pants? This can't be happening. It can't. Not yet. Not now. This is one of those things that happens to other people.

My boobs have gotten huge, my belly is enormous, I shouldn't even be showing yet and I look about a month more pg. than I am.. These are things I can handle. But my ankles?

Are they going to get worse? Isn't it early for such atrocities?

On top of it... I need a pedicure.

This shot definitely shows the lack of definition between my LEG and my FOOT.

Voicemail.

2008-07-28T13:20:00.001-04:00

For starters I've never been particularly fond of my voice- especially when recorded. I have this lisp that isn't terrible but noticeable and it bugs me. Anyhow, a close friend of mine remarked on numerous occasions that my outgoing voicemail was depressing. I thought it was fine, but she brought it up often enough that I finally changed it to a psycho-happy bubbly voicemail. Suddenly I sounded like a fecking cheerleader (so not me).

This change led to a number of comments about my new message. Some hate it. Others love it. It actually inspired a few friends to alter their messages to reflect a more upbeat attitude... but I have gotten a lot of flack too. Moments (literally) after changing the message I received a call from my aforementioned friend's cousin (who my family knows professionally) he also complained. I figured it must be bad of some guy I hardly know is commenting on my voicemail. This was months ago. During this time I've collected all sorts of comments about the new message. It's even come up as dinner conversation (not brought up by me, btw)!! Then this weekend the friend's cousin brings it up again. I check my voicemail earlier today and there is yet another message from a family member telling me to change my message.

So it's done. It's not fun. It's not festive. It's not witty. It's just me and my lispy little voice telling people what they already know: to leave a message and I'll call them back. How boring.

EDIT:
The complaints have been rolling in!! Already. "What happened to your "happy message"? This new one sounds so.. boring" Gr! I can't win!!

And so I turn 32.....

2008-07-24T12:35:00.000-04:00

Last night I started reading Water for Elephants, the narrator refers to aging and how one might begin the descent by first pausing when asked how old they are... then possibly accidentally giving the incorrect age- it was to this effect: that one may say they are 32 when in fact they are 35- once the error is realized one wonders what happened to those 3 years...

That is where I am now. People ask me my age and I answer 30- without hesitation. Generally if it's someone I won't see again, I fail to correct myself when I realize my error-- but if it's someone I know, then sure, I'll let them know I've no idea how old I am. 30 was a good year. The husband proposed at a surprise party, I was beginning grad school, we'd just bought our house-- finally the past was behind me. 31 was good too!! We got married, I got licensed to teach, we adopted a Puerto Rican Pitt that we love more than life, got pregnant... no complaints!! Oh, and we quit smoking too.

Hopefully 32 will be as wonderful. We plan on having this baby sometime in the next 6 months, so that should keep this year in the running for one of the best ever!

To celebrate, mom and Shel came for a visit and we went to the Frog for dinner. Mmmm.. twice in 2 weeks- I'm spoiled. (And won't go again for 6 months!!) Damn, it was good. Still our favorite all time restaurant. (Getting engaged at the sister restaurant has NOTHING to do with it.. really)

Then off to Elton John!

It was his first (and quite possibly last) performance in this great state we call Vermont. The show was great. Dude still has it!! He's absolutely adorable. Mom kept remarking on the quaintness of the venue- thinking it was something straight out of the 1950's. I must say there was a certain feel to the place, like we were somehow safe of the evils of present day.

Maine.

2008-07-24T11:42:00.000-04:00

Last weekend we packed the car and headed to Maine to visit Chris, Amy, and the kids. It's sure to be our last trip that far north without a baby in tow!! (Instead it's in belly!!) After a gruesome 8 hour drive-- lengthened by a terrifically terrifying hail storm, a suicidal divorcee and my constant urge to urinate, we arrived at 11:03- Just as "NuVi" predicted!!

Saturday was fun. We went to Curtis Cove to go swimming then off to the blueberry field! The field is in fact where the Muise's plan on building their studio in the near future. It's a beautiful piece of property and FILLED WITH WILD BLUEBERRIES!! Yum.

Miss Liliana was too cute- refusing to wear anything other than her sandals. River was much more practical and kept his shorts on (as did the rest of us!)

Saturday night we went to the play- this year it was a stellar performance of an old favorite- The Secret Garden. It was great. The school where they performed is a Waldorf School that seems divine.

Peninsula Metamorphic

It all makes one wish they live in Blue Hill, Maine.

One down, two to go.

2008-07-14T17:16:00.001-04:00

Amazingly, I have reached the end of the first trimester! I guess it's a milestone in some ways, marking a reduction in the overall likelihood of a M/C. It's also the point when most ~normal~ people begin sharing the news... which we did about 6 weeks ago!!

Cousin Jenny has begun loaning me some maternity clothes- which is seriously a saving grace because if she hadn't, I would either be a. broke or b. laying naked and spread eagle on my bed-- for fear of going out an facing the world in my too small clothes that I have been looking quite "cowish" in of late. (Good thing I am in VT at least I blend in well with the landscape!!)-- Why naked? Why spread eagle? I haven't the slightest.

Speaking of CJ- she's about to have this baby of hers.-- Miss Carleigh is gonna be a big sister!! Seriously I am thinking in the next couple of days!! It's exciting. We met up today and walked a bit, then ate a super healthy (not) snack-like lunch of fries and nachos (which I am still trying to keep down- what was I thinking!!). I also got to spend some time with Cousin Tracy's beautiful boy, Connor.. OMG- he said my name!! Then he went right back to calling me "Steph" (apprantly he has named every woman after his aunt!!)- but I basked in the glory of hearing him call me Maggie for a few fleeting moments.

~Baby Update~

2008-07-11T21:09:00.001-04:00

For starters we had an appt with one of the midwives today-- heard the heart beat!!
She had a tough time getting it as the baby was moving all over the place.

Next, we had an ultrasound and saw the little bugger-- who was still moving all over the place!!! And again, we heard the heart beat!! It was 147-- everyone is saying boy- even the darn woman who drew my blood was like, "You're gonna have a tall son!" Wait-- did I accidentally wander into a psychic's room in my pregnant stupor?

All in all it was a good appointment. I've gained two pounds, which makes little sense since NOTHING FITS and I look like a house (and not a pregnant house, thank you very much)... S/he is measuring 12 weeks, 6 days, which is pretty much on track with our due date of 1/17/09.

The baby made me do it.

2008-07-09T08:54:00.000-04:00

After an entertaining weekend at moms pretending the "baby made me do it" and stealing random things for my brother's amusement, I actually stole something!! I'm still kind of struggling with the fact that I didn't go into the store and fess up...okay, maybe struggling is too strong a word. It was an accidental theft... (that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!)
You see, I was in Lowe's buying paint, toilet seats, and other extremely necessary items and as I checked out, I managed to overlook (as did the cashier) a small set of paintbrushes that were buried under the toilet seats in my cart. After cashing out, and spending what amounted to Junior's first savings deposit on aforementioned items of necessity, I got to the car and noticed my mistake.
It was hot 90+, humid, and my Ivy was raging!! My phone was ringing. The parking lot was crowded. I tossed the paintbrushes in my trunk and went home.
I will rot in hell someday. But not for this, for the myriad of other misdeeds that I've committed in these 31 years of life...

Scratch, Scratch, Itch, Itch...

2008-07-08T12:18:00.000-04:00

Ugh- I have the IVY!! It's been over a week now and I feel like there is no end in sight. It's actually one of the reasons I haven't been venturing from that house (coupled with my laziness!!) -- it's insufferable out, hot and humid and I don't want to expose my arms. I look like I have scabies or some weird contagious skin disease.. it's rather unsightly. If I was any less vain I'd post some pics.

The Benadryl has been working, though I hate taking it when pregnant. I feel like such a selfish person-- but it is offering some relief. I've also been bathing in oatmeal and tea tree oil and baking soda (yes, all at once) and putting topicals on like a madwoman. I wake in the middle of the night to pee and find myself scratching till I bleed.. seriously, it ain't pretty.

Lazy Summer Days...

2008-07-08T11:45:00.000-04:00

So after spending 5 days at mom's I've returned home and spent 1.5 days sitting at the computer.. surfing, looking at baby stuff, posting on various message boards. I haven't been doing much else, yoga, gardening (though I did weed a bit), walking, puppy training.. chillin' with friends/cousins... I'm officially a loser!!

I think I might separate myself from this beloved computer and head to the "depot" to get me some paint... and start on the bathroom... maybe some primer for the baby's room too..

We have a U/S on Friday- Mom might join us, but she'd have to leave her place by about 7 am, so I doubt she'll make it.

It was great seeing everyone last weekend!!! Josh's bf is sweet, Josh seems happy!Rach is all pretty and preggo, Caleb is doing well.Shel cut off her hair and it looks great. Becca and and her teacher seem happy! Woob is lookin' good, Nicoli is such a pretty dog!!Mom seems happy.
Andrew and I are well too..

Fingernails.

2008-07-01T12:58:00.001-04:00

Yup. Fingernails.
Weird.

Click here.

200 days and counting...

2008-06-30T22:28:00.000-04:00

So apparently I only have about 200 days left being pregnant. That translates into around 29 weeks- 5 months -4800 hours... a lot of minutes... but it seems manageable. What I can't believe is that I have almost made it through the first trimester, I have about 10 or so days to go before I'm "officially" in the 4th month!! Wow.
Pregnancy is good.

My clothes don't fit right. I feel fatter than ever. I'm bloated. I'm tired. I'm sore. AND I HAVE POISON IVY!!!!Oh. and I'm a bitch. like a big one. more than usual.
Ah, complaining is good.

On a totally unrelated note, we brought Oscar to class tonight. As we pulled into the Doggie Daycare he literally JUMPS from the open window (which was only 1/3 open) and runs to the front door of the place..... Good to know he likes it there!!! It was quite comical. I think we will continue to use them after his class is over. I think Andrew may want to bring him to the next level of classes-- agility training-- just to teach that puerto rican pitt a thing or two about catching a frisbee (or anything for that matter!!)
Puppy is good.

This week I head to mom's to play with her before the weekend. We will get things in order for the invasion. It will be fun. I just wish Andrew could be down for the whole time and not just the weekend. But it will be nice to have some one on one time with my mom!!! Looking forward to seeing everyone- especially Haj since it's been over a year!!!!
Friends are good.

Ah.... much better.

2008-06-23T14:49:00.000-04:00

Boy, (or is it a girl?) am I relieved!! Thursday-Saturday were horrible.. seriously.... I laid on the couch, watched crap TV, slept, read, ate... and did little else. Felt sorry for self. Pathetic. Worried getting depressed. Lonely. Afraid... Everything hurt. Mainly my lower abdomen. Scared.

Fast forward: Yesterday.. spent lovely day doing stuff with the husband, went to home depot, did some laundry... went to neighbors for dinner.. feeling much better, still laying low.

This morning I lazed around till almost noon.. reading. Enjoying it. Drinking coffee~ don't yell. Very little coffee was actually ingested. Went outside. Gardened. For about 2 hours I was planting and digging and spreading and moving.. then mowed the lawn. Felt good. Yay. Feel great actually. More energy than I've had since I found out I was knocked up. (Ugh- maybe that coffee had something to do with it?)

Not depressed! I was tired. What a relief.

Oh. And whilst we still remember to feed Oscar, we can't say we're a diligent with the cats... Um yeah. They went a day or two without food while I was sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself. oops.

What a pain in the....

2008-06-20T10:27:00.000-04:00

......abdomen?

The reason I went in for the U/S on Tuesday was twofold- I wasn't positive about my dates, since we weren't expecting to get pregnant so darn quickly!! I hadn't thought to keep track of my period. Silly me.

Also, I'd been having some pain in my lower left abdominal region. They wanted to rule out an etopic pregnancy, but since I am not in a high risk group, it was unlikely. And everything seemed fine, the pain even subsided. Then Wednesday, I was at Costco-- anyone who knows me knows how I feel about that place-- and picked up a large bag of kitty litter- Andrew changes it, but I still have to buy it!! I pulled something, felt a twinge, something. But the pain is back and hasn't subsided since. It's frustrating. There are no signs that something is wrong, just this dull ache that is sometimes a sharp pain.

I'm home. No work. This gives me a lot of time to obsess. I must get a hobby. Fast.

Enough complaining. Everyone is telling me it's fine. I guess they are right. I don't really feel like anything is wrong... it just hurts. I hope the whole darn pregnancy isn't like this. (I'm sure Andrew does as well!!)

The reality that we will be parents is sinking in.. for me at least. How crazy is that? Andrew and I responsible for another life? We have Oscar, but he's pretty self sufficient. He lets us know when he needs to go out, we generally remember to feed him. If not, he whines till we figure it out. Hopefully this baby will keep us well informed.

Yay Baby!

2008-06-18T09:27:00.000-04:00

So yesterday we went to have the first ultrasound. Everything is right where it is supposed to be. I was right on with the dates and they kept my due date at 1/17/09. It was cool to see the little bugger moving around in there. It's still hard to believe. I think that seeing it really brought this whole idea home for both myself and Andrew.

We're at 9 weeks right now.

Making Blood.

2008-05-28T17:26:00.000-04:00

When I get home from work I am so tired. I tell Andrew it's because I'm making blood.

So today was the our "intake" appointment at the health center. We sat in a room with a few other couples and listened to the midwife explain their practice and some of the various options they provide. It was informative, they aren't going to insist on a natural childbirth. I wonder if they will let me have my wine in the labor room... kidding.

Seriously though, it still hasn't really hit home that I'm pregnant. With time there will be no denying it.